Top 5 tips for playing online poker

Online poker is a very popular pastime - and can also be a very lucrative one. Most people who make money from it are doing so by leveraging their advantage over the novice players. The following tips will hopefully redress the balance - although results are not guaranteed and everything you do in life is at your own risk! These are general tips but are mostly aimed at the Texas hold 'em variation of the game.

5. Know your hands.
It is extremely helpful if you know which hand beats the other. For example, it's no good thinking you've won with a straight if the cards on the table also represent good odds that the other player might have a flush.

4. Learn how to read you opponents. 
Online poker is still a game of skill (even though luck does help!) and to this end you should try to develop a sense for the cards a player has. For example, see if they like to raise before the flop (ie before the table cards have been laid out) to try and scare away players - or do they only do it when they have a good hand? People with little money left are more prone to going all in attempts to double their money easily - but a lot panic and will attempt to do so when holding only marginally good cards - can you spot the difference?
It's never easy to master - and will never be as successful as face to face play where nervous ticks can give a player away - so be careful.

3. Bluff wisely.
A well timed bluff can reap big rewards - you are trying to represent a better hand than you have so it's wise to wait until the table cards show that a straight or three of a kind is possible and that the other players are simply checking rather than raising the bet. You then obviously bet like you have that hand.
Beware: it's a dangerous move with no guarantee of reward but often times if you raise big you will scare the other players into folding.

2. Don't bluff too much/bluff too much
If you keep your play simple and fold whenever your hand is risky, you increase your chances of winning when you do have a good hand. This works with the logic that the other players will notice that you only bet when you have a great hand and be less likely to risk betting against you - which also means the winnings will be smaller too, so it has it's trade off - but also means they are far more likely to believe you if you bluff.
Conversely, if you play more hands by bluffing and folding (but only on hands with small pots) and then continue that pattern of play when you have a good hand, it increases the likelihood that they will assume you are always bluffing and raise you, thereby increasing the size of the pot.

1. Only play with what you can afford to lose
This is the most common tip - and also the hardest one to adhere to as it's easy to get carried away and keep ploughing money into it thinking your luck is bound to change soon. If you are in it for fun then playing the low value tables for pennies is the safest option - but if you're in it for big reward then you have to be prepared to bet big - which means you have to be prepared to lose big too.

Top 5 tips for driving in winter

The winter is here (at least for those of us in the northern hemisphere) and with it brings a whole new set of challenges. Icy and snowy conditions make driving a much more dangerous pursuit - so here are my top 5 tips for staying safe;

5. Slow Down
Seems obvious but many people drive far too fast in the winter. Speed limits are theoretical top speeds you can legally do in good conditions and are therefore not necessarily accurate during winter! This is especially important for those of us in older vehicles without ABS and traction control but even those can produce over confidence in your cars abilities. Just remember, you cannot always see ice - so, if it's cold, it's best to assume it's there and drive accordingly.

4. Allow Time
Everyone is always in a rush these days but allowing extra time is vital in winter. This will give you enough time to defrost your car and heat it up before driving. If you don't allow time for this you will end up rushing on your journey - and therefore ignoring tip 5!

3. Defrosting Techniques
Scrapers good - water bad. That's the general rule - although it is tempting to pour hot water on your windows this will most likely result in them cracking as the two temperatures meet and take their disagreements out on your lovely expensive glass! So either a store bought scraper or, in emergencies, a credit card (be careful not to break it!) should be used - it takes time but it's a lot cheaper. Alternatively a can of de-icing fluid is awesome.

2. Skid Control
This is something I find hard to explain but is a useful skill in icy conditions. If you find yourself sliding across a road it can be a very traumatic experience - the first instinct of an untrained driver (like myself) is to turn the wheel in the opposite direction and slam on the brakes... it didn't work out too well. So, fight your instincts and try to steer into the skid, and pump the breaks (unless you're one of the luck ABS brigade) as you will not stop if the tyres are not rotating.

1. Drive Safe
Many of us pay little attention to driving to the conditions but, as well as tip 5 you should also remember that in icy conditions you should use lower gears to increase control. Also, when cornering, many people will brakes as they turn. It's always best to brake before a corner and accelerate through it but it's especially important in icy conditions where it's imperative to have power going through the wheels when cornering.
Remember: Braking is the most dangerous thing to do in the conditions so slow down!

Top 5 tips for Wittypedia

Bit of a selfish one this - and I'm only really doing it so as to highlight a website I personally support. Namely; Wittypedia.
An underground sensation, WittyPedia was originally an encyclopaedia containing funny articles on a whole range of subjects but it has since evolved into an entertainment mega site. Now rebranded as the Witt, here are my top 5 tips for getting the most out of using it;

5. Browse
Simply go to www.wittypedia.com and browse - you will discover many funny things and check out the original WittyPedia section to see some of the funniest articles ever written by humans.

4. WittyMedia
Click on the title and be transported to a world of funny videos, humorous articles and hilarious photos from around the internet.

3. WittyPeople
Click on the title to see a list of our favourite funny comedians (slight UK bias) along with quotes and a video from each of them.

2. Murraying
Do you Murray? Click on the link - it's funny. No explanation necessary.

1. Contribute
You can easily contribute to the site. Funny pictures as well as video and article URLs can be submitted here and, if you have an idea for a funny article for WittyPedia you can log in or create an account (for free) and type away.

Top 5 bicycle maintenance tips

Nearly all bicycle related issues can be fixed by the owner with a little bit of patience and guidance.
I've been biking a lot lately so this list is based on my personal experience about the most common problems and best solutions. My bike is old and possibly outdated but hopefully most of these tips are universal... they're all fairly obvious probably but I hope someone finds these of use.

5. Repair Kit
4. wrench
3. Right stuff for the right job
2. Brush up (and down)
1. Spares

5. Repair Kit
Repair kits are cheap, small and invaluable - there's no reason not to ride with one. On the road your biggest problems are likely to be a puncture, loose nut or potentially, loss of brakes (due to pad moving) and whilst you should check your bike regularly it is always best to have the correct tools ready for these eventualities.

4. Pliers
An odd one but absolutely crucial for me with my old bike. Some of the nuts are odd sizes and rather than carry a multitude of spanners I instead have a couple of adjustable wrenches or pliers with me when riding. Any problems with my derailleurs or wheel nuts loosening are easily remedied.

3. Right stuff for the right job
Many people, myself included, use household oils such as WD-40 to oil their chains etc. It contains solvents and is not actually designed for this purpose - although it's very good for rusty locks and stubborn nuts and bolts etc. A trip to your local bike shop will give you a plethora of options for different parts of your bike and if you do nothing else you should buy a specialist lube for your chain.

2. Brush Up (and down)
After a muddy ride it is best to clean your bike as soon as possible. If you can put it away in a dry place then hosing down may suffice - although I find a quick scrub with an old brush (off the end of a hose in my case) shifts the stubborn dirt. Take special care around your derailleurs and gears to get all the gunk and bits out - and remember to regrease it all after.

1. Spares
It's always good to have reserves but really all I'm talking about is inner-tubes, nuts and washers cable end pieces - and possibly a gear cable and chain. If you get a puncture you may want to replace your inner-tube - giving you time to find the puncture on the old one and repair it making an instant spare. On a personal note - my girlfriends seat became lose and it transpired that somehow all of the nuts had been lost somewhere along the track... if I'd had spare nuts this wouldn't have been a problem... live and learn.

Recommended Reading:

Top 5 tips for wild camping

Wild camping is the art of camping without a campsite - and not a bed tv show of campers on spring break. 

That means no toilets, no power and probably no other person for miles around.

Wild camping is hard work but a very rewarding thing to do. It's get back to nature reality and the best way to find a little peace in an all too hectic world. 

It isn't without risk though so be careful, be a boyscout, be prepared.

5. Research

4. Equipment

3. Food and Water

2. Location

1. Direction

5. Research

So, you want to wild camp, but where can you do it? The easiest way to find out is to visit one of the many useful websites out there - a quick Google search will enable you to find one for your location. 

 Make sure you find out about the laws relating to wild camping for your area and abide by them. 

4. Equipment

You will need a tent (or bivvy if you're hardcore!) a good backpack (preferably with rain cover), sturdy water-proof boots, possibly with gaiters to stop your trousers getting wet, a change of clothes, trowel or small shovel, pocket knife, 2m of string and a torch. 

3. Food and Water

Ample food is important and the meal in a bag variety that you get from camping shops is perfect for the job (which is probably why camping shops sell them!).

 Energy bars or beef jerky style products are ideal for snacking on during the long days of hiking so take plenty - and don't eat them all at once! 

 Water is most important. Don't rely on there being water where you go even if you know the area as things sometimes change. Take more than you think you'll need and make sure any companions do the same - thinking you have enough and then having to share with others is demoralising.

4. Location

It's wise , for your first few trips at least, to chose a path someone has trodden before. Find information for a route from the internet and if possible pick a 2 or 3 day maximum route. Make sure you have the relevant maps with contour detailing and go over your route carefully. 

1. Direction

Take a GPS, some may feel it's cheating but it really isn't and is a godsend in an emergency. Make sure you take spare batteries. Take a compass too, and know how to use it. It's no use knowing where north is if you can't work out where you are.

Top 5 tips for camping

Just a quick list of things I find useful when camping on campsites. I'll post some tips on extreme camping soon. But for now, here they are;

5. Entertainment

4. Tent

3. Illumination

2. Food

1. Essentials

5. Entertainment

Make sure you have plenty with you because there will doubtless be a few days where you're stuck on a campsite with nothing to do. Books are great, as are puzzle books. You can't go wrong with a deck of cards either both for games and also for building card houses (not good as alternatives to tents). 

4. Tent

Don't be fooled by the makers claims; a two man tent is not a two man tent - unless you happen to be on very good terms with the other man... so much so that you don't mind his elbow in your face all night.

So, unless you are hardcore camping then two people should be looking at four man tents at minimum, and so on. This will allow enough room for everyone and your things too. A preferred technique when camping with a smelly person or unwanted midnight spooner is to place your belongings down the centre of the tent.

3. Illumination

An LED lamp is a must. Most will last for well over 24 hours of continuous use, so you shouldn't have to worry about it crapping out on you. It also advisable to take a torch or two for night time trips to the bathroom and reading without annoying your friends too much.

2. Food

Fry ups and barbeques are the main stay of the camping world so don't forget an ice box to keep meat in. For a quick breakfast I recommend ready made pancake mix to keep you going until lunch. 

1. String

Always carry 2 metres of string or rope when camping in the bush. It has a multitude of uses and  it is always reassuring to have with you. 

Top 5 ways of beating the financial crisis - humorous?!?

Thought I better add the 'humorous' tag just in case any desperate share dealers are looking for salvation and turn to here - which is usually filled with slightly more useful tips than these (I said slightly!). I originally wrote these as an article for the ever so funny website, Wittypedia and thought I'd include them here for your viewing pleasure. You can read the full article, and many other funny articles, by clicking here.


5. Tip for the unemployed
4. Tip for office workers
3. Tip for keeping happy
2. Tip for begging
1. Tip for philanthropists

5. Tip for the unemployed
If you are unemployed... remain unemployed. Otherwise you risk the very real possibility of losing your job in the near future.

4.Tip for office workers
If you have an office job make sure that you reorganise all the files in an order only you know, thus making you indispensible.

3. Tip for keeping happy
Charge your mp3 player while you can still afford electricity and then listen to Bobby McFerrin's 'don't worry, be happy' over and over again - this should keep you upbeat - at least until the battery goes dead.

2.Tip for begging
Write to your neighbourhood billionaire (everyone's got one) and ask him for just 0.01% of his fortune in return for you dressing like a 19th century chimney sweep for his entertainment.

1. Tip for philanthropists
Donate your savings to the good people at COJ before you have none left! This will make you feel better about yourself, will definitely make me feel better about myself (as I'll be able to get that 58" plasma TV I want) and may in fact be the act that secures you your rightful place in whatever COJ's idea of an afterlife may be.

Top 5 ways to avoid work - whilst at work

'Please blog on the top 5 ways to avoid work whilst at work, thanks.' - Tao

At the request of one of my many loyal followers (hi you two!),I now present to you my suggestions for avoiding doing work whilst at work. As always, I invite your comments and ideas, and will add any great ones to the bottom of this blog. 

Warning: Some of these tips are pretty advanced - and all come with the down side of possibly being fired, so use with caution;

5. The concentrated stare

4. Tea break/smoke break

3. Complementary laziness

2. The retrace

1. The power talk

5. The concentrated stare

A method whereby you stare at what you are supposed to be doing with such intensity that it appears you are doing it or at least considering all your options so thoughtfully that it would be rude to disturb you. Can be combined with slow arm movements to give the impression of actual work being done.

4. Tea break/smoke break

A hard one to pull off but if you are skilled you can drag a 5-10 minute break out for at least 30 minutes. The trick to this is to look like you've only just arrived in the kitchen/smoking area each time someone new comes in. So, always try to look like you're waiting for the kettle to boil or about to light your cigarette.

3. Complementary laziness

The art of getting others to do your work by lavishing them with compliments. Another tricky one to get right but sometimes mentioning to a colleague how much the boss liked the way they did a certain task is enough motivation to get them to do it.

2. The retrace

Being faster at tasks than your boss expects is always a good idea but can also be an easy way to be lazy. To truly harness this as a means to avoiding work you must first work hard in a concentrated manner to complete your work as fast as possible. You can then spend the remainder of the day relaxing, and simply retracing what you did so that if anyone looks in you can give the appearance of being hard at work. 

Warning: The retrace only works for certain job situations and may actually make you feel like you are working all the time anyway - so use sparingly.

1. The power  talk

The single most useful tip for avoiding work in any work situation is to engage your boss in conversation. This can be done whenever they pass by your work station or at any meetings you have with them. Finding out what they are interested in or what they have done and then asking questions about it is a sure fire way to a nice relaxing half hour or so. 

Most bosses are egocentric and will happily talk about themselves for a long time - and are obviously less likely to complain about your lack of working if they are intimately involved in distracting you.

Top 5 tips for choosing pizza toppings

Just a quick one today and in keeping with my ethos of listing my top 5 tips for everything I introduce to you my list of favourite pizza toppings. This may not fit within the remits of being helpful or humorous but it is at least true;

 

5. Meat

4. Mushrooms

3. Capsicum

2. More meat

1. Pepperoni

 

 

5. Meat

I am an omnivore with a slight emphasis  towards the meaty end of the spectrum now that's a rainbow I'd like to see!). All pizza meats are good but I am gonna highlight ham as my number 4 selection.

 

4. Mushrooms

Amidst rumours that they sit in your stomach for years fermenting, I still can't get enough of them and am craving a bacon and mushroom sandwich as I type this. They are also good on pizzas - so very good.

 

3. Capsicum

Or bell peppers, whatever you wish to call them, they have a lovely burst of flavour that adds a little something to any pizza.

 

2. More meat

I'm sorry, I had to add it again. I love meat. Honestly, I don't care for how it gets to my plate, I have real moral issues with myself, but I can block that out for the benefit of my salivating mouth. I shall nominate  beef here which appears on several of the best pizzas you can get.

 

1. Pepperoni

The king of pizza meats. Ok, it's meat again but there's no other topping I can think of that I would be satisfied with if it was the sole topping on my pizza. Can you think of anything? I mean, every other topping needs something else, making this the king of toppings in my humble opinion.

 

Top 5 reasons I made this blog

Welcome one and all!

This blog was created so I could share my ideas on a range of different subjects which are either gathered from internet research, personal experience or simply made up in an effort to make me (and hopefully you) laugh.

Each subject will be added in the same format as below and hopefully, eventually, will become a comprehensive guide on everything in the universe... but for now i will start with my 5 reasons for making this blog!

5. Boredom
4.Justification
3. Because I can't think of 10 tips
2. Feedback
1. To help... or entertain

5. Boredom.
A limited factor in my decision to blog was the amount of free time I find myself with right now. My plan is to do something constructive so I don't waste my days whittling twigs into smaller twigs.

4. Justification
Not to justify my existence or anything like that but simply to justify the amount of money I am spending on this mobile broadband internet connection!

3. Because I can't think of 10 tips
Having said that, I think I might tend to ramble a wee bit in these tip explanations sections. So it's possible you will get 10 tips for the price of 5 anyway!

2. Feedback
I don't pretend to hold the answers to everything but hopefully some of my suggestions are good. For the things I miss or ideas that are better, I'm hoping you guys will leave your ideas in the comments section. I will then compile them into a 'users top 5' underneath my own list in the hope that everyone will learn something new.

1. To help... or entertain
If some of my more serious tips can help people then that would be awesome, but if it merely entertains people for a brief moment, then I will be equally happy.