Top 5 ways of beating the financial crisis - humorous?!?

Thought I better add the 'humorous' tag just in case any desperate share dealers are looking for salvation and turn to here - which is usually filled with slightly more useful tips than these (I said slightly!). I originally wrote these as an article for the ever so funny website, Wittypedia and thought I'd include them here for your viewing pleasure. You can read the full article, and many other funny articles, by clicking here.


5. Tip for the unemployed
4. Tip for office workers
3. Tip for keeping happy
2. Tip for begging
1. Tip for philanthropists

5. Tip for the unemployed
If you are unemployed... remain unemployed. Otherwise you risk the very real possibility of losing your job in the near future.

4.Tip for office workers
If you have an office job make sure that you reorganise all the files in an order only you know, thus making you indispensible.

3. Tip for keeping happy
Charge your mp3 player while you can still afford electricity and then listen to Bobby McFerrin's 'don't worry, be happy' over and over again - this should keep you upbeat - at least until the battery goes dead.

2.Tip for begging
Write to your neighbourhood billionaire (everyone's got one) and ask him for just 0.01% of his fortune in return for you dressing like a 19th century chimney sweep for his entertainment.

1. Tip for philanthropists
Donate your savings to the good people at COJ before you have none left! This will make you feel better about yourself, will definitely make me feel better about myself (as I'll be able to get that 58" plasma TV I want) and may in fact be the act that secures you your rightful place in whatever COJ's idea of an afterlife may be.